The Power of Protecting Your Peace
By Evelyn Chen

Intelligent people don’t look different; they behave differently. They spend time alone not because they dislike people, but because they’ve discerned that not everyone is honest and not every intention is pure. They protect their peace and enjoy the silence that others fear.

I read this last weekend and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Because once upon a time, I was the antithesis of this.

When I was younger, I had friends everywhere. I was constantly busy; attending parties, traveling with school friends, visiting art galleries with my uppity group, going to fashion shows with my gentry group, volunteering at palliative care, joining book clubs, hanging with my Sunday lepak gang… you get the drift.

If I wasn’t working or cleaning, I was jet-setting, dancing, reading or taking care of someone, somewhere. My calendar was always full. I thought that meant my life was replete too.

Looking back, I was a fool.

I was busy not because it was my choice, but because I thought being everywhere meant I mattered. I thought saying yes to everyone made me a good friend. And honestly? I didn’t know how to say no (still working on this!).

I was always late. I was constantly EVERYWHERE! Just typing this makes me tired now. I don’t know how I survived that frenetic life.

I trusted everyone. They were my friends, after all and friends trust each other, right?

Wrong.

I learnt the hard way that not everyone is honest. Not everyone who smiles at you is your friend. I got disappointed repeatedly by broken promises, by gossip disguised as concern, by friends who only showed up when it benefited them.

I was constantly sad. Constantly hurt. Constantly giving to people who were constantly taking.

Then I realised something: saying yes to everyone meant saying no to my own peace.

That’s when everything changed.

I started scrutinising my relationships. I started asking: Does this person add to my life or drain from it? Do they show up consistently or only when convenient? Do I feel energised or exhausted after spending time with them?

Slowly, my circle got smaller. After a while, I had fewer than 10 real friends I kept in touch with.

And you know what? That’s perfect.

These are people who show up. Who care genuinely. Who don’t drain me. Quality over quantity isn’t just a saying; it’s a life upgrade I wish I had discovered sooner.

Solitude became one of the best things that ever happened to me (along with motherhood and growing older). When you stop being everywhere, you finally have time to be somewhere that matters, with yourself.

I now have time for real self-care. I sleep 7-8 hours without guilt. I exercise without rushing. I actually use those face masks instead of letting them expire in my bathroom drawer!

I read. I draw. I paint. I learn new things. I am not racing from one commitment to another anymore. I am actually living, not just filling time.

I love this version of me. I am calmer. More grounded. Definitely not the fool I used to be. I have more savings (not constantly spending on social obligations!) and life feels lighter.

What a bonus.

Here’s what I have learnt about protecting your peace:

Solitude is intentional, not lonely. It’s choosing quality time with yourself over quantity time with everyone else.

Intuition gets sharper. When you’re not surrounded by noise, you can finally hear your own voice.

Personal growth speaks louder than words. You don’t need to prove you’re living well when you actually are.

Intelligent people understand this. They don’t need to be everywhere to matter. They don’t need constant validation from crowds. They have figured out that protecting your peace isn’t selfish; it is essential.

The magic isn’t in being everywhere. It is in being fully present where you choose to be.

If you are constantly busy, always saying yes, perpetually exhausted, STOP. Just for a moment, stop. Ask yourself: Am I protecting my peace or am I giving it away to anyone who asks?

Start small. Say no to one thing this week that drains you. Spend an evening alone doing something you love. Notice how it feels.

Then do it again. And again.

Watch what happens when you stop spreading yourself thin and start investing in depth. When you choose peace over popularity. When you choose yourself.

Your future self will thank you. And your present self? Well, you might finally get to use those face masks before they expire.

Trust me on this one. 😊xx

 

Words to learn

discerned– to perceive or recognise clearly; to distinguish with insight

antithesis– the direct opposite; a person or thing that is completely different from another

replete– completely filled or supplied with something; abundantly provided

frenetic– fast-paced and energetic in a rather wild and uncontrolled way; frenzied

scrutinising– examining or inspecting closely and thoroughly; analysing critically

solitude– the state of being alone, especially when peaceful and undisturbed

intentional– done on purpose; deliberate and planned

intuition– the ability to understand something instinctively, without conscious reasoning

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The confidence and clarity gained from protecting your peace is essential for strong self-expression. To translate that inner mastery into fluent, confident communication, look no further. At ILTI, we walk alongside learners of all ages, levels and needs, helping them build vocabulary, strengthen communication skills and gain the confidence to express themselves clearly.

Your English learning journey starts here. Call/WhatsApp: 010-395 3067 or email us at info@ilti.edu.my.